October has come and gone, my birthday has passed and autumn the best time of the year is about to finish but not before I prepare for November, the month of birthdays for almost every close person to me. It is my niece’s 10th birthday, the nearest person to my heart, plus it is my brother in law’s birthday, 5 friends and….hmmm someone special to me.
I think the time has come for me to tell you about ….him, I won’t name him to you because I would rather he remain nameless, no it is not because of trust, don’t be silly, but I just feel human attach too much information to things which decreases their beauty. Mystery has a special magic that is lost in the open and I want him to remain a mystery for as long as possible, or maybe I fear if I utter his name I will lose the ‘fairy tale’ aspect of this ‘dream’ I am fighting to keep, yet at the same time I know it is not meant to be. Maybe in another lifetime, or in a different world things could change, but in our world, my ‘person’ will forever remain a fairy tale that will never end, for there can never be a happy finale to it like all tales. It is strange, I always give names to all my gadgets and soft toys, even my wheelchair has a name; Speedy Spectra, but for humans I try to keep them nameless, I have no idea why I do that.
Although I am life’s greatest advocates for details, as they are the main source of information that guide one to make adequate decisions, but on this particular subject I don’t think details matter. I am not seeking approval or want guidance, I am simply telling you about an important person in my life, any other details about him are irrelevant. I will tell you the basic, though he is a mixture of personalities, and you can never guess what he will be like yet he has the kindest heart, the noblest of characters and one of the wisest people I know. He is my friend before anything else, I’ve known him for more than 7 years, I liked him the instant I laid my eyes at him, had this intuition that something special lies in him. Don’t get excited Dunia, it is one sided and in silence, and that is the way it will remain, because I believe he deserves someone different from me. I am not a pessimists nor melodramatic, but why pursue a path that will lead you to pain. Plus I have major guilt issues, I hate restricting or limiting people because of my special needs, so how can I be with someone knowing all that.
Anyhow back to November, few days after his birthday he suddenly vanished, stopped replying to my messages and calls, I thought maybe it’s his usual ‘time out phase’, I told you Dunia, he is complicated and moody so you never know when he will just take off suddenly. He likes to have alone time, so I usually just wait and I did that this time too.
I decided to keep myself very busy so I don’t dwell on his absence and I did that, pushed myself to go out with friends, started writing articles and blogs and went around libraries distributing posters of a disability awareness page that I have created. Simply I was not idle at all and that kept my mind occupied, I was determined to plan the perfect birthday for two friends who deserve spoiling more than most, and I also wanted to reach a certain number of followers for my disability page before its 2 years anniversary, which also happens to be the last week of November.
You know Dunia, I might not be the strongest but I am very patient and determined, so once I set myself a task I often achieve it, and I was adamant that I keep busy and active.
Atishoooo… Oh oh! I really hope I am not getting a flu…I better go and take a hot drink Dunia. Adieu!