Let me start with the good news; I have finished taking the two courses of antibiotics, infections have cleared up, elbow is less sore, and my flu is gone, so I’m back in good health. The bad news the weather is atrocious, well slight exaggeration as it is not snowing thank God, I hate the snow because the last time it snowed in London I was stuck in bed for a long time as carers could not come, plus I can’t go out as my wheelchair won’t work in the snow. It is quite funny right Dunia? Snow is probably loved by everyone except people with disability, another reminder how your physical ability affects your perspective of simple things such as snow.
Oh dear, I have gone all philosophical on you again. I am sorry it is not my intention, but like I told you in my last entry, writing the new year’s resolution article affected me to certain limit as it made me think about myself, what I had achieved, how I have progressed and what do I want. The last question has forever troubled me as honestly I have never had an answer, at least not a convincing one, I always tell people what they expect to hear or what my family want for me but now, writing the article I had so many ideas floating in my head.
I have never quite understood why people make resolutions, we have enough pressure and stress in life without adding a self-inflicted one, yes, I recognise it is light hearted fun but for some it can be a sign of failure to keep a promise or a reminder that not all wishes can be fulfilled, so why the risk of such feelings? A friend once told me that resolutions are needed to give one a feeling of progress and a sign of living life – the result whether you fulfil these resolutions or not is the same; active participation in life, because if you achieve these resolutions then you have worked at them and if you don’t then it means you got distracted by other goals or aspects of life. Either way you are a winner.
I kept thinking about what I achieved last year – I did not want to think about life, I thought it would be a big disappointment, let me just concentrate on the very recent past, which was not that great either as I discovered. For a start, I failed to read x number of books that I had imagined I would in a year, I didn’t produce any work on my PhD let alone a written chapter, and I don’t think I managed to learn any new skill. Yet let us look on the positive side Dunia, I did manage to meet different people, tried new things (if riding a London Bus, eating octopus and king prawn counts?) cut down on sugar in my coffee (went down from 9 sachets to 6), and expanded my writing across various fields.
The last point is probably my biggest source of pride, the ability to transfer an already established skill to a larger audience, which will hopefully educate masses about living with disability and introduce new ideas and concepts. Oh no, I have let my hand go wild with typing and lost track of time, my carer is on her way and I must go.